Love and Death
by xXxyurifangirlxXx
Summary: After a moment of silence, Vriska asked, "Do you think we'll be together forever?" "Please... let it be forever," Vriska murmured . "I would like that, Vriska…..but." kanaya clutched Vriska's hand and moved closer. vriskaxkanaya humanstuck


**well this is my first fanfiction so i hope its good. also i do not own homestuck or any of the characters because if i did vriskan would be cannon. **

Vriska stood alone on the beach, gazing over the azure water with her baleful blue eyes. Her hair danced lightly in the ocean breeze, tickling against one cheek as she tried to deny the stirrings in her heart as she adjusted her glasses.

She wore a sapphire shirt that left her arms bare and a pair of jeans that showed off the shape of her body. Her mane flowed in a lemon-colored torrent past her shoulders, complementing her morose russet visage.

Her thoughts wandered to her days in kanaya's company. They had known each other since they were children. They had spent time together so often that, despite all differences, others often mistook them as siblings. However, it was not until recently that they had recognized their feelings for each other. From then on, Vriska was sometimes needy and close, but then suddenly cold and fearful. Kanaya tried her best to hide her pain, but it was plain in her eyes .That was how it was to this very day. Vriska's spheres spotted kanaya further down on the beach, closer to the roaring sea. Her lovely ebon strands were attractive as ever. Her pools were turned toward the ocean, hidden from Vriska's sight, but she knew and loved their childlike moss-colored hue. She was dressed in refined garb befitting her station. She had a generously curvaceous cotton candy-flushed milky form. As Vriska drew nearer, she caught a note of kanaya's familiar perfume: sweet, rich lavender. Her crystals softened. It always reminded her of the time they shared. "Kanaya," she called, walking towards her.

She turned around. A smile slowly made its way across her face. "Vriska. You came."

Vriska shrugged and said only, "Let's go." They began their leisurely walk along the ocean's edge.

Vriska never said much on their dates, never showed much emotion. It was just how she was. She thought that by now kanaya might be used to it, so it surprised her when she turned around on her and insisted, "Vriska ... do you truly enjoy these dates?"

Caught off guard, she took a moment to simply stare at kanaya and her pure depths filled with kiwi-colored worry. In measured tones, Vriska replied, "I go with you on them. Don't I?"

That answer seemed to chill kanaya. She furrowed her eyebrows and murmured, "But..." and could say nothing else, letting that word hang there until Vriska started to walk again, and kanaya followed her lead and walked beside her. After a few moments, kanaya said quietly, "I enjoy them. Yet, if you don't, I don't want to force you."

"I'm fine," Vriska said firmly. Yet in truth she was far from fine. She was burdened by the unexplainable feeling that she was never good enough for Kanaya or any one in that matter. It haunted her deep down, filled her lungs with agonized humors, and tormented her in the night until she woke to the silent dark. Her only solace was that kanaya did not yet know - and that being so, she would continue to pretend that she was not broken.

"If you say so," kanaya relented. Kanaya laid a soft hand on Vriska's arm and Vriska let it stay there, warm and comforting to the pain in her soul.

After a few moments, they found themselves walking down the beach again. Endlessly, Vriska was haunted by her shroud of pain - but she resolved to battle it alone, as she had all her life. Kanaya could not know. No one could. It was her burden alone to bear.

All the same, kanaya seemed to notice. She looked at Vriska cautiously for a moment before murmuring, "Vriska? Is... Something wrong?"

"Kanaya... it's..."

And at that moment everything came together, all of the magic and the hurt that had been building that day, and she locked her spheres with hers and whispered, "You can tell me."

It was like a floodgate burst, or some barrier of fear had been struck down. Vriska shook her head and everything came out at once. "I don't know if I can put it into words. I... lately... it might not even be just lately... It's nothing. It's nothing! I just... I don't feel well... I don't know where it is, whether it dwells in my heart in my head. It burns... there's nothing that helps. Except that... sometimes, I feel a bit better when you're by my side..." kanaya listened silently and solemnly. At last, when all the words had left Vriska and she was at a loss for words, kanaya reached out to her and took a deep breath to whisper back, "Vriska ... I... I don't know what it's like, to live with your shroud of pain... but... I'm sorry, Vriska. I wish... I wish I could help." Vriska's eyes began to burn, and she abruptly pulled kanaya into a fierce embrace. Kanaya's crystals widened at first, but then she too felt overwhelmed by emotion and succumbed to the warmth of Vriska's touch.

"You," Vriska whispered her breath hot on kanaya's ear. "As long as you're here, I... I can make it." They held each other as tears trickled down cheeks and dripped onto the shifting sands to be carried away into the sea. With time and soothing embraces, their pain dissipated into a mist swept out by the ocean breeze and into the setting sun. They basked in each other's quiet companionship for a few moments. "The sunset is so beautiful, isn't it?"

Vriska lifted her head at kanaya's words to behold the dying sun's fermented radiance. "Mm."

After a moment of silence,Vriska asked, "Do you think we'll be together forever?"

"Please... let it be forever," Vriska murmured.

"I would like that, Vriska... but ." kanaya clutched Vriska's hand and sidled closer.

Vriska sighed with contentment and brought kanaya closer. She gazed at the beautiful aureate rays of the falling sun, thinking about everything that had transpired on this day and all that would pass between them.

"I love you, kanaya."

"I love you too, Vriska."

Their lips met, and flaxen strands met wild ones, aflame in the dying light. The sand was their witness and the rumbling ocean their approving audience, and Kanaya, her eternally faithful lover. Vriska thought to herself that nothing had ever been so perfect for her as this.

For a time neither of them spoke. Vriska wondered if Kanaya was thinking the same thing as her: that it was unlikely that the world would let them be.

At last, Vriska spoke. "Kanaya... I'm afraid of what they'll do to you."

And Vriska knew - Kanaya had the same fears as she did. "Kanaya..."

"You're a woman... I'm a woman. We're... we're both female. That's... people won't..."

Hearing it put so bluntly made Vriska's breath hitch in her throat. Kanaya spoke the truth, Vriska knew. That was why it was so awful. It was wrong - they'd heard it so many times. She loved Kanaya with all her heart, and yet... "Kanaya. That's not as important to me as you. ... I love you." Kanaya only shook her head. All the more desperate, Vriska pleaded, "Kanaya. Kanaya, say it doesn't matter."

"Vriska... I'm only doing this for you. It... It has to be this way. Don't you see?" For a moment no one spoke. Kanaya stared into her eyes and Vriska stared into hers. Kanaya gripped her hand tightly for a moment, and then slowly, slowly, started to let go.

Vriska's hand fell and swayed limply by her side.

"So... this is goodbye?" Vriska murmured.

"I... I guess so."

"Will I ever... see you again?" she whispered.

"I... I don't know." Vriska turned sharply away to hide her tears. She just wanted to get off the beach right that moment. The sight of Kanaya was like a dagger to her heart.

She was foolish for thinking it would ever work out, Vriska thought. It never did. Nothing ever did. Just as Vriska turned to leave Kanaya grabbed her arm and pulled Vriska into a hug. She wanted to stay with Vriska a little while longer until they had to say goodbye forever.

"Kanaya, those clouds look bad. It's time to go home…. It's time to say goodbye."

Kanaya looked at her with such seraphic spheres and asked, "Just a few moments more? I want to be with just for a few more."

"Just a few more moments," she relented.

They were unprepared for how swift, how brutal the coming storm was. The rain poured in torrents, making the ocean itself to rise. Winds whipped about them and kept them from moving on the shifting sands. Soaking, shivering, they fought against the storm.

"Vriska!" Kanaya screamed against the wind. "Please, don't let go!"

"I won't!" Vriska shouted back, her hand clasping hers firmly as Vriska struggled upward on the beach. "Trust me, Kanaya!"

"I'm so sorry!" Kanaya sobbed. "I never should've asked-"

Her next words were drowned out by the crash of water. A wave knocked against Vriska's side with incredible force, and in the moment she was stunned by the blow, she felt those soft fingers slip through hers.

Vriska came to her senses, and she found herself alone on the beach.

"Kanaya!" she screamed. Without hesitation, Vriska dove into the water. The waves tossed and rolled without mercy; Vriska could hardly keep herself afloat. But the sight of that pale hand barely sticking from the water kept her moving forward.

For a sickening moment, those fingers slipped under the surface.

"NO!" Vriska bellowed before a mouthful of water choked her voice and brought her back to her senses. She dove under. The water was dark and it stung her eyes, but she could see Kanaya, drifting downward like a falling flower petal in spring. With a flurry of energy, Vriska shot forth and grasped Kanaya's limp hand, and then kicked furiously at the water, lungs almost bursting, until they came to the surface.

Sputtering and choking, Vriska caught her breath while struggling to keep Kanaya above water. The cold and turbulent water was beginning to take its toll; she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep them alive.

Kanaya sputtered and seemed to rouse. "Vriska ..." she murmured hoarsely.

"Hold on, Kanaya," Vriska gasped as she put forth all her energy into fighting the sea. "Hold on..."

"She had too much water in her lungs," the doctor told Kanaya. "She pushed herself too hard on too little air. I'm sorry. She gave her life for you. She didn't make it."

"She tried to hide it, but she had a good heart."

"I wish I'd known her better. I wish I'd seen the person who would sacrifice her own life to safe another."

"She was an important member of our team. We couldn't have done what we did without her."

Kanaya sat on a chair by the coffin, her hands around her knees, her globes dry, her soul too numbed to grieve. The funeral attendees - And who knew there'd be so many to come to pay their respects? - nodded to her as they passed. She was sorry she couldn't find the words to express her appreciation.

The reception lasted hours, but it seemed to Kanaya that it was only moments before the crowd disappeared. She picked herself off the chair and turned to look into the coffin for the first time since the funeral started.

Eyes closed and still, Vriska lay inside in a fine pitch-dark suit, her hands clasped over her chest. She could have been in a very deep sleep. Kanaya fought the urge to reach out and nudge her awake. Vriska was gone. Gone because of her. Because she loved her. Trembling, Kanaya leaned in and laid a single kiss on Vriska's lips.

Wracked with guilt and pain, Kanaya buried her head in her hands and sobbed.

**hope you liked it please review.**


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